reality

Yesterday, I started going through all of the boxes I brought home from school.  Everything needed to be sorted, organized and any extraneous materials tossed.  It's amazing how much one can collect in 6 years.  I even still have my notebooks from college; all of the lesson plans that my classmates wrote but I never used.  

Lesson plans written by someone who's never taught or had their own classroom are generally not the most successful.  I guess I just kept them all of these years "just in case" or maybe I thought I might be able to rework them to suit me.  But in the end, I just tossed them all.

I'm not throwing everything away because I can't really say that I'll never teach again.  But for now, it's all going into storage.

Lately, I've been listening to people talk about the first day of school coming up.  It's really only a few weeks away.  It feels so strange to know that I won't be going back.  No meetings about how this year will be different, no new education dog and pony show, no organizing my room, no hanging posters, and no early morning alarm clocks.

I couldn't be happier.

Coincidentally, the other night I was watching the news.  Something I very rarely do.  There were some storms in the area so I was trying to catch a weather report.

Then a face and name I recognize flashed onto the tv screen.

A man had fatally shot his girlfriend.

That man was a student I'd had a few years ago.

A "crazypainintheassIwassohappywhenheleft" student.

The sad part is I wasn't even shocked.  

Nor was I shocked when a few days later more information surface about his record.  He has quite a rap sheet.

The relief I feel about not going back is unimaginable.  The reality of not having the steady paycheck is leaving me a little shaky but in the end I think it will be worth it.